Monday, October 29, 2007
These guys are fighting against some Iranian women and some feminists for their right to have online relations with European women Internet brides without having to tell them about their prior arrest records, real identities. These nambla guys are hardcore cool guys. rank Johnson even wrote new words to American woman that puts feminists and Iranian women in their place on and for all.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
(Read more at: Franworst)
America's beloved Millionaire entrepreneur Richard Quick, Esq. is pleased to announce that he has finalized negotiations with the People's Republic of China to become the exclusive U.S. representative and Master Franchise holder of the GRATE FUN! Child Adventure Systems.
At a press conference outside his celebrated Asian comic-book themed restaurant KUNG POW! restaurant, Mr. Quick announced that GRATE FUN! franchise opportunities would be available as early as next month.
Quick stated he was excited to have the People's Republic of China as his new business partner in the new venture, and looked forward to future projects.
Said Quick: "We are in the people business, and who better to partner with than those with the most people? Who understands the needs of children better than the country that has pops them out by the billions?"
The Grate Fun Child Adventure System franchise opportunity will be available as an add-on to an existing business, as a stand-alone recreation center, or as a cobranded franchise integrated with QuickCo's DEEP DISCOUNT TOYS! from China (pictured, right) or with QuickCo's ChineseBaby.Com affiliate program.
Hot Franchise Opportunities from QuickCo:
Thursday, May 10, 2007
1. Darn Good Sock Repair
2. Eternal Ascent Cremation Dispersal
3. Starbuskj Cofe & Rop Franchise
4. Joe Weiner's Mail Order Brides Franchise
5. Wholly Crap Dog Doo Removal Franchise
6. Cheezus Industries Religious Cheese Sculpture Dist.
7. Wealth Thru Window Washing
8. Smelly Restroom Abatement Franchise
9. Hemp Sisters: Clothes You Can Smoke!
10. Start a Swinger's Club!
11. The "No Soup for You!" Franchise
12. Jesus-Is-Lord Escort Service
13. MetroNaps Napping Pod Franchise
14. Big Money Playing with HorseBalls!
15. Start an Exotic Dancer Ministry!
16. Become a Pro Hair Stylist for $59.95
17. Get in on the Mummification Boom!
18. Get God is in Your Upline! Heavenly MLM
19. Hot Product Alert: Pork & Beanie Babies!
20. CyberTan: The World's First Internet Tanning Salon!
21. HOT PRODUCT: Gasoline Supersoaker
22. HOT PRODUCT: Baby Grenade. Pull the pacifier & throw!
23. Raise & Slaughter Big Piles of Pigs
24. Sorry. Time for my massage...
Richard Quick, Esq. Will Grant you one wish.
ENTER IT HERE:
Richard Quick, Esq.'s Famous 101+ Ways to GET RICH QUICK!
1. Waffle Delivery & Repair
2. Nudes 'N Foods Franchise
3. The FOR SALE Bologna Brown-Eggs Quilts Crafts Cheese Flowers Pernnials franchise
4. The Town Crier Franchise
5. Be a Buccaneer Butcher!
6. Clean BJs & Weiners!
7. The Mr. Bagpipe Franchise
8. Start your own Church!
9. Old Barn Wood Furniture and Crafts
10. Peculiar Medical Clinic
11. Home Pasta Delivery
12. Become a Marketing Consultant!
13. Big Money in Midgets
14. Own a BetaMax Superstore!
15. Amish Country Signs Franchise
16. Make Luggage from Tape!
17. Start a Home Casino!
18. Turn Trash into Cash!
19. Unlock Windows of Opportunity
20. The ultimate booming business
21. Fungus "R" Us Toenail Fungal abatement
22. Mona Leasing Art Rental Franchise
23. Pseudodental Repair Franchise
24. Sell Dehydrated Water
25. Open an "As Seen in Motels" discount store
26. Open a Sundae Station franchise
27. Market "Afterlife Telegrams"
28. Win International Lotteries!
29. Assist Nigerian Millionaire Widows & Orphans
30. Sell your Immortal Soul!
31. Import Gourmet Minnesota Coconuts!
32. Sell Freeze Pops With REAL Shards O' Glass
33. Sell Trendy Male Lipstick
34. Start a Home Lasik Surgery Center
35. Start your own Pet Island!
36. Sell Child Confinement & Transport Products
37. Sell Peace of Mind
38. Sell immortality. That's right. IMMORTALITY!
39. Sell Doggy Eyewear!
40. Become a Lip Balm Addiction Counselor
41. Buy a Mooncake, Meatfloss & CuttleFish Franchise
42. Open a Simpson Alter Ego Rehabilitation Clinic
43. Sell Snake Penis Capsules Medicine
44. San Francisco Sausage Co. & Fudge Packery
45. Open a Squat 'n Gobble Restaurant!
46. DAPZY's! The Dangerous Animal Petting Zoo
47. The Big Green Mystical Ball
48. Become a Happy Hooker!
49. Open a Bette Davis BBQ Joint!
50. Open a Gun Store Tattoo Parlor
51. Sell HandJobs!
52. Sell FUELISH! Top Secret Gasoline Booster!
53. Sell Gently War-Torn Real Estate!
54. Flip No-Dinar-Down Properties!
55. Sell Frozen Meats. They're endangered!
56. Sell AutoErotic Asphyxia Accessories
57. Open a Christian Dollar Store!
58. Rent Negroes for Big $$$$$
59. Human Caviar: The Next Big Craze!
60. Buy/Sell Black Market Babies, Pandas & Tigers.
61. Provide Primate Temp Tech Workers.
62. Become a Memory Erasure Intake Counselor.
63. Help Parents Create Perfect Children.
64. Build Corpses for Fun & Profit.
65. Or Become a Corpse Reseller.
66. Open a Brain Transplant Clinic...
67. Become a Deep Discount Travel Agent!
68. Sell delicious "PISS" (It's imported!)
69. Become a Cheezus Freak!
70. Sell Republican Clothing
71. Sell Cute Lil Fetuses
72. EZ TOYZ = EZ CASH!!!
73. Be a Cavie Costumer!
74. No-Money Down Iraqi Real Estate
75. Friendly Fire Fast Funds Franchise!
76. Sell UFO Abduction Insurance!
77. Sell Cow Pie Clocks
78. Sell Penis Birds
79. Sell Penis Clowns
80. Become a Rectal Exam Trainer!
81. Start an Anti-Currency Movement!
82. Become a Contract Killer!
83. Sell Innovative Fruit Carriers
84. Sell Yarmulkebras!(TM)
85. Rent Your Chest!
86. Sell Vulva Puppets!
87. Sell Nipple Stifflers
88. Start an Ultimate Taxi Service!
89. Become an Etch-a-Sketch Artist!
90. Sue your employer!
91. Magic Money Matrix as seen on OPRAH!
92. Shit Creek Paddle Store Franchise
93. Start a Band called Sand Dollar
94. AdVerPets NewMedia Franchise
95. Automated Bovid Dispensers Franchise
96. Start a Bumvertising Agency
97. LOOK RICH QUICK! The Franchise
98. Learn Exotic Dancing at home!
99. Sell ANALRETTES Smoking Alternative
100. Sell Inflatable Commander-in-Chiefs
101. Sell Friendly Fire Ammo... Like Snuffy!
102. Sell Lunar Advertising!
103. Sell EnviroAd Product Placement
104. Sell DIY Drunk Tests!
Sign up for Get Rich Quick! the Newsletter and you'll Get Rich Quick! Guaranteed!
If you don't COMMENT, you don't COUNT.
Why are you still reading? Get rich!
ENTER YOUR WILDEST DREAM HERE:
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Dick Cheney is one of my best friends and most valued associates. He is a true inspiration... and there aren't many people I can say that about. His handling of the Plame Game is masterful and elegant. I teach my students at the Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. Perception is Reality Institute to constantly weigh their PR strategies with a frequent: WWCD? It's not quite as valuable as WWMRQED? but is useful nonetheless.
The fine capitalist artist and U.S. patriot PIXWIT has created this homage to Dick Cheney in recognition of the fine public relations lessons he continues to provide to the world free of charge. Well, almost free of charge.
Monday, March 05, 2007
So, the idea hit me that perhaps the first order of business for my newly formed Compassionate Carnivores Club could be to secure funding for a national initiative called "Buy a Vegan a Burger Day"! Your a ten-dollar donation will secure a large, mouthwatering burger for a protein-deprived vegan, plus a side of onion rings deep-fried in animal fat, washed down with a soda in a paper-cup coated in wax rendered from animal by-products. If we get the meals donated by fast-food chains, greasy spoons or meal kitchens, QuickCo will split the $10.00 donations with its Millionaire Mindset independent sales reps, 60/40.
What do you say, students? Are you ready to make some BIG dollars while saving the fuzzy-thinking Vegans from themselves?
After receiving the first two ravingly inane responses to my celebratory posts on the success of Smithfield pork production, I called a prominent neurologist who is actually on retainer with Smithfield. I forwarded him links to the two comments, one by someone name Rayon (who has a blog named Inside the Protein-Deficient Mind of a Veganista or something. See his post Hog Butchers RULE) and another by someone named Citizen P (who has a blog named Spreading Misinformation, Exposing Myself or something. My question to him was: does lack of meat in one's diet cause impaired mental function, or even brain damage.
The reason for my question was that I discerned particular patterns of mental deficiency amongst the meat-deprived. For one thing, they seem to have an inability to name things.
The doctor confirmed my theory. He told me that at one time, their kind were known as "vegetarian." It was a clear, meaningful name established by a carnivorous scientist, though some said it had its roots in a Native American term meaning "One who is unable to hunt effectively." However, the vegetarians insisted on creating their own word for themselves, one from a Star Trek episode, one that no one would be sure how to pronounce: Vegan. Or Vee-gan. In fact, according to the learned man, the Vegans themselves often forget how to pronounce it so they have decided to alternate days: Sunday, Tues., Thurs., Sat. it's Vee-gan, and so on. None of them can actually remember whether they are able to eat eggs, cheese, or French Fries, so they simply ramble when asked, which is rare.
According to this respected neurologist, the hemisphere of the brain that controls naming (as well as other functions, such as reasoning, logic, employment & hygiene) are diminished in size among Vegans, a result of a diet deficiency in protein, especially that of pork, ham & bacon. (This explains why similar symptoms are found among the Jews).
The doctor pointed out that the symptoms evident in both commenters were clearly late-stage, as evidenced by their own online names. The one named himself "Rayon." As the doctor pointed out, would a rational person name themselves after a manufactured regenerated cellulosic fiber, even if produced from naturally occurring polymers? The other named himself "Citizen P.," a self-deprecating euphemism equal to "Mr. Urine." As the Doctor pointed out, "Citizen P." may have additional complications stemming from his practice of selling his own plasma for money. "This could be aggravating his already impaired lack of reasoning function," said the doctor. "Vegans, or Vee-gans - are notoriously employment-averse. It's part of their unique epidemiology."
However, there is hope. Close friends should keep a package of Smithfield Smoked Sausage or other fine Smithfield meat products on hand. As soon as the Vegan becomes disoriented, feed them a link or two. They will thank you for it later.
HAVE YOU EVER SAVED A VEGAN? HOW'D YOU DO IT? TELL US ABOUT IT! LEAVE A COMMENT.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
I've been cruising the Caribbean in GET RICH 3 and am delighted with the Internet speed from our new dedicated SATLINK connection. I think it's faster than the connection I get at either the estate or at the QUICKCO HQ campus. It's fabulous.
Funny Rolling Stone Article on Smithfield Hog Production
I indulged myself last night with a good scotch, Cuban cigar and tour of the ineffectual attempts by the Veganistas at communication. Their nonsensical arguments are matched only by their ineffectual PR skills. I got a tremendous kick out of the Rolling Stone article called Boss Hog in which the "writer" tries to evoke sympathy for pigs by equating their carcasses - by weight - with dead humans. A kindergartener could see through the awkward and ham-fisted (pardon the pun) attempt at transference - but not the protein-deprived Vegans. They hail it as "journalism." They would jump up and down with glee had they the strength. Had they the glee.
I'll tell you, this is one little piggy who'll be going to market first thing Monday. Tomorrow, Smithfield stock will rise once again, in part because of the BUY order I'll place at start of trading. The Rolling Stone story provided some great press that will help bump the stock price, including:
Smithfield Foods, the largest and most profitable pork processor in the world, killed 27 million hogs last year. That's a number worth considering. [RQ: Sure is!]... Smithfield estimates that its total sales will reach $11.4 billion this year.... The company produces 6 billion pounds of packaged pork each year. That's a remarkable achievement, a prolificacy unimagined only two decades ago, and the only way to do it is to raise pigs in astonishing, unprecedented concentrations.I felt good about my investments in Smithfield after reading that, I'll tell you. I had the cook make me a BLT and plan a gourmet pork dish on the menu for dinner. (I need a break from fresh fish anyway). The article speaks glowingly of Smithfield's success under the leadership of my good friend Joe Luter III:
Smithfield's expansion was unique in the history of the industry: Between 1990 and 2005, it grew by more than 1,000 percent. In 1997 it was the nation's seventh-largest pork producer; by 1999 it was the largest. Smithfield now kills one of every four pigs sold commercially in the United States. As Smithfield expanded, it consolidated its operations, clustering millions of fattening hogs around its slaughterhouses. Under Luter, the company was turning into a great... machine.The article continues to celebrate the dominance and profitability of Smithfield as the Boss of All Hogs:
Smithfield's market dominance is hardly at risk: Twenty-six percent of the pork processed in this country is Smithfield pork. The company's expansion does not seem to be slowing down: Over the past two years, Smithfield's annual sales grew by $1.5 billion. In September, the company announced that it is merging with Premium Standard Farms, the nation's second-largest hog farmer and sixth-largest pork processor. If the deal goes through, Smithfield will own more pigs than the next eight largest pork producers in the nation combined. ..Brilliant Propaganda Planted by Smithfield!
It was then that is occurred to me that this was actually a brilliant story PLANTED by the brilliant PR minds at Smithfield... A promotional pig-in-sheep's-clothing ploy. Brilliant! Scanning back over it, the tongue-in-cheek humor is wonderful and suddenly obvious: The author's name is JEFF TIETZ. The story is called Boss Hog, and the story is truly about Smithfield's dominance and Luter's brilliance. They just threw in the pollution talk, and words like "transmogrify" and "shit" to make it fit in this pretentious pseudo-intellectual rag. Just watch: the already sold-out baby boomers who read Rolling Stone skipped over the pig shit parts and already have calls into their brokers to BUY Smithfield pork asap.
Ahh, it's a great day for Capitalist Pigs!
Here are some of the Animal Rights nut-jobs, protein-deprived Veganistas and other self-righteous losers with posts on the Rolling Stone Boss Hog story:
Inside the Mind of a Vegan
World Vegan and NutJob News
NutJob Heaven: Vegan.Com
After School Snack
Super Lost: Super Vegan
Flax on Friday
ARE YOU READY TO GET RICH? VISIT FRANWORST.COM, FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS & PROSPER!
GOT AN OPINION? LEAVE A COMMENT.
Here's what I love about these TV-Generation Community College Liberal Arts Indignants: They act like they are the ultimate holders of the great and profound truths of society's ills, which they share with the great unwashed and unenlightened in an article with a headline that quotes from one of mankind's greatest epics: The Dukes of Hazard.
I'm a Smithfield shareholder, and I'm going to increase my holdings first thing Monday. I had extra bacon and sausage this am as I had fun looking at the pathetic attempts at expose on the vegan, animal rights and other lefty nutjob websites. They are so smug. So self congratulatory. So self righteous. And, most of all, so ineffective.
Their own story starts out with some great publicity: "Smithfield Foods, the largest and most profitable pork processor in the world, killed 27 million hogs last year. That's a number worth considering." It sure is! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!
Watch Smithfield stock soar! They make a feeble attempt to equate - by weight, no less - dead pigs and dead humans. What? They don't know people equate pigs with food? This is the best their PR machine can hurl? Watch Smithfield stock soar some more! Cha-ching!
They talk about a fountain of waste spewing into the air out in the middle of nowhere like people will be outraged. Who cares? That's why we all live in the city and suburbs. That's why we put our hog farms out in the middle of nowhere. You don't like the stench of a hog farm, move to Manhattan.
I love liberals, vegans, PETAS, and all the rest. My only complaint is that they don't even give us a good game. They are like a mouse between the cats paws... we bat them around, play around 'til we get bored then we eat them.
They can't even decide on a name. They used to be vegetarians, but that was too clear and not hip enough, so they decided to come up with a name right out of a Star Trek episode that no onewould know how to pronounce: Vegans. Is it Vegan: Rhymes with Reagan? Or Veegan: rhymes with... nothing.
Probably the latter, since there seems to be neither rhyme nor reason to anything they do.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Want to monetize your website? Want to make millions blogging in you PJs, never having to go to the office or deal with morons ever again? Click here to see how I make millions with a cover charge on my franworst.com site: FRANWORST.COM
That's key #1. For key #2, click the link below and answer Sara's questions. you'll be enlightened within 48 hours... Guaranteed!
STEP ONE: Charge a cover charge. On my Franworst.com site I get $1.00 per day from every visitor. Take a look at my daily counter in the FranWorst.com right sidebar and you do the math.
STEP TWO: Click on the link below, answer the questions and heed the advice of psychic Sara Freder. Want to know my system for making millions in the stock market, always picking the right horse, choosing the next American Idol? I clicked the link below, answered the questions and heeded the advice of the very hot Sara Freder.
Being a loser is a daily choice. Choose differently today. RQ
The first key to making money with your blog is to charge a cover charge to your blog. On my FranWorst.Com site, I charge a $1.00 daily cover charge to access my website. $1.00 doesn't sound like a lot to you, does it? You're skeptical. You don't think you can make boatloads of money charging a $1.00 cover charge to a crappy Wordpress blog, do you?
That's why I'm a freaking millionaire and you're saving your greasy dollar bills and spare change in a rusty creamed corn can, dreaming of the day when you'll have enough to buy a muffler for your piece-of-crap Suburu. You skeptics make me ill. What's the matter with you? Aren't you ready to be RICH? Don't you want to have the MILLIONAIRE MINDSET?
Go to my FranWorst.Com site. Pay your $1.00 cover charge. Then take a look at the daily visitor counter on the right column. Multiple that number by $1.00 (or ask someone with basic math skills to do it for you). That will tell you how much I've made that day. Follow my tips and even YOU can make that kind of money too.
The second secret to blogging success is a personal secret, which is different for each person. Despite what every one of your family and friends believes about you, there is a little tiny, tiny kernal of potential buried deep inside you. I mean DEEP. Using only your birthday and email address, my psychic, the very very hot Ms. Sara Freder, will give you the key to unlock that potential. All you need to do is click on the subtle, flashing ad below, answer the easy questions (even easy for you) and you are on your way to untold riches and wealth beyond your wildest dreams.
I'll be seeing YOU on the veranda! Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
It's what lured the Pilgrims to Plymouth Rock (what, you bought into religious freedom?).
And it somehow brought Don Rickles.
It's as American as, say, complimentary pornography and ham loaf.
And now, it's a dream franchise for you.
And the best part is that when they complain that the dancers are ugly, you can say, Sure, but hey, the food's free! And when they complain that the ham loaf smells funny, you say: What's the matter with you? There's naked women up there and you're talking ham loaf!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Your window of opportunity just may be a windshield!
Watch the Window washing Wealth! Franchise Video at FranWorst, home of the worst franchise opportunities anywhere!
(Hey! You missed a spot!)
Hey, you outdoorsmen... Watch the video that will change your life! Believe Me!
See you on the veranda!
Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.
Watch Don LaPre’s Ultimate Road to Success!
It's now playing on Richard Quick, Esq.'s FranWorst, home of the worst franchise opportunities anywhere!.
Monday, January 01, 2007
It's been another fantastic year for Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. (Yes, Virginia, the Rich DO Get richer!) I made a killing in No-Dinar-Down Iraqi Real Estate. It's been a stellar year for my non-profit initiative at the National Association for the Advancement of Wealthy People. And, hopefully, it's been a good year for you in your quest for financial freedom and personal prosperity. If you have listened to me, and made your payments on time, and purchased all of my motivational and instructional books, videos, DVDs, and Viewfinder inserts, then you should be closer to your dream of untold wealth.
THIS will be your YEAR!
I can sense it. I don't just say this to all my website visitors. I can sense that YOU are special. You have potential. YOU have the millionaire mindset. All you lack is motivation. And my new updated RICHARD QUICK'S 99 BUSINESSES YOU CAN START ANYWHERE, EVEN PRISON which will be released later this month.
To help keep my students motivated, I like to give them occasional glimpses into my life, the life of their dreams. Whenever I can do so for free, or without disclosing my actual whereabouts, I will give you such a glimpse. That's why I had one of my outsourced computer workers scan my Christmas card from George Bush (pictured above), so that I can show you the kind of Christmas cards YOU'LL be getting when you are filthy, filthy rich like me.
All of us ultra-wealthy owe George a big thank you. He's a real leader. When foreign nations think that they can intimidate us by killing 2900 of our citizens, George proved them wrong by killing 3,000 himself. Saddam Hussein will think twice before attacking the World Trade Center again, I'll tell you!
God bless King George! God bless you. God bless our war effort. God bless us with a prosperous 2007 with many happy returns (tax and otherwise)!