Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Homage to my friend Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney is one of my best friends and most valued associates. He is a true inspiration... and there aren't many people I can say that about. His handling of the Plame Game is masterful and elegant. I teach my students at the Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. Perception is Reality Institute to constantly weigh their PR strategies with a frequent: WWCD? It's not quite as valuable as WWMRQED? but is useful nonetheless.

The fine capitalist artist and U.S. patriot PIXWIT has created this homage to Dick Cheney in recognition of the fine public relations lessons he continues to provide to the world free of charge. Well, almost free of charge.

Monday, March 05, 2007


After my conversation with the Smithfield staff neurologist who educated me as to the mental impairment that Vegans are operating under, it occurred to me that Vegans are more to be pitied than to be despised (though the two are not mutually exclusive), and, as my Millionaire Mindset students know, Pity is the soil in the flowerpot of exploitation! Where there is compassion, there is opportunity.

So, the idea hit me that perhaps the first order of business for my newly formed Compassionate Carnivores Club could be to secure funding for a national initiative called "Buy a Vegan a Burger Day"! Your a ten-dollar donation will secure a large, mouthwatering burger for a protein-deprived vegan, plus a side of onion rings deep-fried in animal fat, washed down with a soda in a paper-cup coated in wax rendered from animal by-products. If we get the meals donated by fast-food chains, greasy spoons or meal kitchens, QuickCo will split the $10.00 donations with its Millionaire Mindset independent sales reps, 60/40.

What do you say, students? Are you ready to make some BIG dollars while saving the fuzzy-thinking Vegans from themselves?

Vegan Protein Deficiency Affects Naming Ability

After receiving the first two ravingly inane responses to my celebratory posts on the success of Smithfield pork production, I called a prominent neurologist who is actually on retainer with Smithfield. I forwarded him links to the two comments, one by someone name Rayon (who has a blog named Inside the Protein-Deficient Mind of a Veganista or something. See his post Hog Butchers RULE) and another by someone named Citizen P (who has a blog named Spreading Misinformation, Exposing Myself or something. My question to him was: does lack of meat in one's diet cause impaired mental function, or even brain damage.

The reason for my question was that I discerned particular patterns of mental deficiency amongst the meat-deprived. For one thing, they seem to have an inability to name things.

The doctor confirmed my theory. He told me that at one time, their kind were known as "vegetarian." It was a clear, meaningful name established by a carnivorous scientist, though some said it had its roots in a Native American term meaning "One who is unable to hunt effectively." However, the vegetarians insisted on creating their own word for themselves, one from a Star Trek episode, one that no one would be sure how to pronounce: Vegan. Or Vee-gan. In fact, according to the learned man, the Vegans themselves often forget how to pronounce it so they have decided to alternate days: Sunday, Tues., Thurs., Sat. it's Vee-gan, and so on. None of them can actually remember whether they are able to eat eggs, cheese, or French Fries, so they simply ramble when asked, which is rare.

According to this respected neurologist, the hemisphere of the brain that controls naming (as well as other functions, such as reasoning, logic, employment & hygiene) are diminished in size among Vegans, a result of a diet deficiency in protein, especially that of pork, ham & bacon. (This explains why similar symptoms are found among the Jews).

The doctor pointed out that the symptoms evident in both commenters were clearly late-stage, as evidenced by their own online names. The one named himself "Rayon." As the doctor pointed out, would a rational person name themselves after a manufactured regenerated cellulosic fiber, even if produced from naturally occurring polymers? The other named himself "Citizen P.," a self-deprecating euphemism equal to "Mr. Urine." As the Doctor pointed out, "Citizen P." may have additional complications stemming from his practice of selling his own plasma for money. "This could be aggravating his already impaired lack of reasoning function," said the doctor. "Vegans, or Vee-gans - are notoriously employment-averse. It's part of their unique epidemiology."

However, there is hope. Close friends should keep a package of Smithfield Smoked Sausage or other fine Smithfield meat products on hand. As soon as the Vegan becomes disoriented, feed them a link or two. They will thank you for it later.


Sunday, March 04, 2007

A Great Day for Capitalist Pigs!

I've been cruising the Caribbean in GET RICH 3 and am delighted with the Internet speed from our new dedicated SATLINK connection. I think it's faster than the connection I get at either the estate or at the QUICKCO HQ campus. It's fabulous.

Funny Rolling Stone Article on Smithfield Hog Production

I indulged myself last night with a good scotch, Cuban cigar and tour of the ineffectual attempts by the Veganistas at communication. Their nonsensical arguments are matched only by their ineffectual PR skills. I got a tremendous kick out of the Rolling Stone article called Boss Hog in which the "writer" tries to evoke sympathy for pigs by equating their carcasses - by weight - with dead humans. A kindergartener could see through the awkward and ham-fisted (pardon the pun) attempt at transference - but not the protein-deprived Vegans. They hail it as "journalism." They would jump up and down with glee had they the strength. Had they the glee.

I'll tell you, this is one little piggy who'll be going to market first thing Monday. Tomorrow, Smithfield stock will rise once again, in part because of the BUY order I'll place at start of trading. The Rolling Stone story provided some great press that will help bump the stock price, including:
Smithfield Foods, the largest and most profitable pork processor in the world, killed 27 million hogs last year. That's a number worth considering. [RQ: Sure is!]... Smithfield estimates that its total sales will reach $11.4 billion this year.... The company produces 6 billion pounds of packaged pork each year. That's a remarkable achievement, a prolificacy unimagined only two decades ago, and the only way to do it is to raise pigs in astonishing, unprecedented concentrations.
I felt good about my investments in Smithfield after reading that, I'll tell you. I had the cook make me a BLT and plan a gourmet pork dish on the menu for dinner. (I need a break from fresh fish anyway). The article speaks glowingly of Smithfield's success under the leadership of my good friend Joe Luter III:
Smithfield's expansion was unique in the history of the industry: Between 1990 and 2005, it grew by more than 1,000 percent. In 1997 it was the nation's seventh-largest pork producer; by 1999 it was the largest. Smithfield now kills one of every four pigs sold commercially in the United States. As Smithfield expanded, it consolidated its operations, clustering millions of fattening hogs around its slaughterhouses. Under Luter, the company was turning into a great... machine.
The article continues to celebrate the dominance and profitability of Smithfield as the Boss of All Hogs:
Smithfield's market dominance is hardly at risk: Twenty-six percent of the pork processed in this country is Smithfield pork. The company's expansion does not seem to be slowing down: Over the past two years, Smithfield's annual sales grew by $1.5 billion. In September, the company announced that it is merging with Premium Standard Farms, the nation's second-largest hog farmer and sixth-largest pork processor. If the deal goes through, Smithfield will own more pigs than the next eight largest pork producers in the nation combined. ..
Brilliant Propaganda Planted by Smithfield!
It was then that is occurred to me that this was actually a brilliant story PLANTED by the brilliant PR minds at Smithfield... A promotional pig-in-sheep's-clothing ploy. Brilliant! Scanning back over it, the tongue-in-cheek humor is wonderful and suddenly obvious: The author's name is JEFF TIETZ. The story is called Boss Hog, and the story is truly about Smithfield's dominance and Luter's brilliance. They just threw in the pollution talk, and words like "transmogrify" and "shit" to make it fit in this pretentious pseudo-intellectual rag. Just watch: the already sold-out baby boomers who read Rolling Stone skipped over the pig shit parts and already have calls into their brokers to BUY Smithfield pork asap.

Ahh, it's a great day for Capitalist Pigs!

Here are some of the Animal Rights nut-jobs, protein-deprived Veganistas and other self-righteous losers with posts on the Rolling Stone Boss Hog story:
Inside the Mind of a Vegan
Boing Boing
Vegan Porn
World Vegan and NutJob News
NutJob Heaven: Vegan.Com
Cafe Jack
After School Snack
Super Lost: Super Vegan
Flax on Friday




Vegans, Vegetarians, Veegans, Animal rights Kooks and other sissified liberals would be jumping up and down right now if their protein-deficient bodies were capable of it. Why? Because the smug, self-righteous anti-success toadies at Rolling Stone have come out with an article called BOSS HOG. It begins with the startling revelation: America's top pork producer churns out a sea of waste that has destroyed rivers, killed millions of fish and generated one of the largest fines in EPA history. Welcome to the dark side of the other white meat.

Here's what I love about these TV-Generation Community College Liberal Arts Indignants: They act like they are the ultimate holders of the great and profound truths of society's ills, which they share with the great unwashed and unenlightened in an article with a headline that quotes from one of mankind's greatest epics: The Dukes of Hazard.

I'm a Smithfield shareholder, and I'm going to increase my holdings first thing Monday. I had extra bacon and sausage this am as I had fun looking at the pathetic attempts at expose on the vegan, animal rights and other lefty nutjob websites. They are so smug. So self congratulatory. So self righteous. And, most of all, so ineffective.

Their own story starts out with some great publicity: "Smithfield Foods, the largest and most profitable pork processor in the world, killed 27 million hogs last year. That's a number worth considering." It sure is! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!

Watch Smithfield stock soar! They make a feeble attempt to equate - by weight, no less - dead pigs and dead humans. What? They don't know people equate pigs with food? This is the best their PR machine can hurl? Watch Smithfield stock soar some more! Cha-ching!

They talk about a fountain of waste spewing into the air out in the middle of nowhere like people will be outraged. Who cares? That's why we all live in the city and suburbs. That's why we put our hog farms out in the middle of nowhere. You don't like the stench of a hog farm, move to Manhattan.

I love liberals, vegans, PETAS, and all the rest. My only complaint is that they don't even give us a good game. They are like a mouse between the cats paws... we bat them around, play around 'til we get bored then we eat them.

They can't even decide on a name. They used to be vegetarians, but that was too clear and not hip enough, so they decided to come up with a name right out of a Star Trek episode that no onewould know how to pronounce: Vegans. Is it Vegan: Rhymes with Reagan? Or Veegan: rhymes with... nothing.

Probably the latter, since there seems to be neither rhyme nor reason to anything they do.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


I love that word. I really do. Monetize.

Want to monetize your website? Want to make millions blogging in you PJs, never having to go to the office or deal with morons ever again? Click here to see how I make millions with a cover charge on my site: FRANWORST.COM

That's key #1. For key #2, click the link below and answer Sara's questions. you'll be enlightened within 48 hours... Guaranteed!
Get a Free psychic reading


Adsense is nonsense. Affiliate marketing is for losers. Want to make millions blogging? Ask the guy who does: ME.

STEP ONE: Charge a cover charge. On my site I get $1.00 per day from every visitor. Take a look at my daily counter in the right sidebar and you do the math.

STEP TWO: Click on the link below, answer the questions and heed the advice of psychic Sara Freder. Want to know my system for making millions in the stock market, always picking the right horse, choosing the next American Idol? I clicked the link below, answered the questions and heeded the advice of the very hot Sara Freder.

Being a loser is a daily choice. Choose differently today. RQ

Get a Free psychic reading

How to Make Millions Blogging

Adsense is NoN-Sense. Affiliate marketing is for losers so dumb Amway won't take their urine-scented money. Commission Junction is to Wealth-building as Petticoat Junction is to fine filmmaking. If you want to make millions, as I have, with a crappy little free blog, there are two things you've got to know.

The first key to making money with your blog is to charge a cover charge to your blog. On my FranWorst.Com site, I charge a $1.00 daily cover charge to access my website. $1.00 doesn't sound like a lot to you, does it? You're skeptical. You don't think you can make boatloads of money charging a $1.00 cover charge to a crappy Wordpress blog, do you?

That's why I'm a freaking millionaire and you're saving your greasy dollar bills and spare change in a rusty creamed corn can, dreaming of the day when you'll have enough to buy a muffler for your piece-of-crap Suburu. You skeptics make me ill. What's the matter with you? Aren't you ready to be RICH? Don't you want to have the MILLIONAIRE MINDSET?

Go to my FranWorst.Com site. Pay your $1.00 cover charge. Then take a look at the daily visitor counter on the right column. Multiple that number by $1.00 (or ask someone with basic math skills to do it for you). That will tell you how much I've made that day. Follow my tips and even YOU can make that kind of money too.

The second secret to blogging success is a personal secret, which is different for each person. Despite what every one of your family and friends believes about you, there is a little tiny, tiny kernal of potential buried deep inside you. I mean DEEP. Using only your birthday and email address, my psychic, the very very hot Ms. Sara Freder, will give you the key to unlock that potential. All you need to do is click on the subtle, flashing ad below, answer the easy questions (even easy for you) and you are on your way to untold riches and wealth beyond your wildest dreams.

I'll be seeing YOU on the veranda! Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.

Get a Free psychic reading