Sunday, March 04, 2007


Vegans, Vegetarians, Veegans, Animal rights Kooks and other sissified liberals would be jumping up and down right now if their protein-deficient bodies were capable of it. Why? Because the smug, self-righteous anti-success toadies at Rolling Stone have come out with an article called BOSS HOG. It begins with the startling revelation: America's top pork producer churns out a sea of waste that has destroyed rivers, killed millions of fish and generated one of the largest fines in EPA history. Welcome to the dark side of the other white meat.

Here's what I love about these TV-Generation Community College Liberal Arts Indignants: They act like they are the ultimate holders of the great and profound truths of society's ills, which they share with the great unwashed and unenlightened in an article with a headline that quotes from one of mankind's greatest epics: The Dukes of Hazard.

I'm a Smithfield shareholder, and I'm going to increase my holdings first thing Monday. I had extra bacon and sausage this am as I had fun looking at the pathetic attempts at expose on the vegan, animal rights and other lefty nutjob websites. They are so smug. So self congratulatory. So self righteous. And, most of all, so ineffective.

Their own story starts out with some great publicity: "Smithfield Foods, the largest and most profitable pork processor in the world, killed 27 million hogs last year. That's a number worth considering." It sure is! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!

Watch Smithfield stock soar! They make a feeble attempt to equate - by weight, no less - dead pigs and dead humans. What? They don't know people equate pigs with food? This is the best their PR machine can hurl? Watch Smithfield stock soar some more! Cha-ching!

They talk about a fountain of waste spewing into the air out in the middle of nowhere like people will be outraged. Who cares? That's why we all live in the city and suburbs. That's why we put our hog farms out in the middle of nowhere. You don't like the stench of a hog farm, move to Manhattan.

I love liberals, vegans, PETAS, and all the rest. My only complaint is that they don't even give us a good game. They are like a mouse between the cats paws... we bat them around, play around 'til we get bored then we eat them.

They can't even decide on a name. They used to be vegetarians, but that was too clear and not hip enough, so they decided to come up with a name right out of a Star Trek episode that no onewould know how to pronounce: Vegans. Is it Vegan: Rhymes with Reagan? Or Veegan: rhymes with... nothing.

Probably the latter, since there seems to be neither rhyme nor reason to anything they do.

1 comment:

Citizen P. said...

As one of those smug nutjob vegans , I just want to clear up one thing: the only vegans who are protein deficient are those who mostly only eat junk food like chips and fries. If you eat real food, you are fine.

If you ask plasma and blood donation centers, vegetarians and vegans generally tend to have equivalent or better protein levels in their bodies.

I learned this fact because before I decided to go vegan or even vegetarian, I donated plasma regularly. I left to another state for a year, came back, and started donating plasma regularly at the same place.

They must check certain health facets before they let you donate. Protein levels is one of them. I didn't tell them that I had become vegan. The girl was reviewing the test results and complementing me exceedingly on all of them.

Then she stopped and asked me if I was vegetarian. I told her that I was vegan. She then told me that she asked because she has noticed that many vegetarians and vegans tend to do exceptionally well on many of the tests, including protein.

You might not like vegans or vegetarians. That's fine. You can believe that we are smug nut jobs. Okay. It is impossible for me to personally convince you otherwise. I am not even going to attempt it.

Factually though, we are not protein deficient.