Richard Quick's Millionaire Matchmaker Service will connect you with the UNBELIEVABLE fortunes to be made helping millionaire African refugees, dying widows and crooked bank employees get their family treasures and abandoned bank funds out of such bizarre-sounding places as Nigeria, Ghana, Cote d' Ivoire, Benino Faso, and South Africa. These people have every one of the MAGIC FIVE TRAITS to look for in a prospective partner: desperation, trust, lack of education, stupidity and obscene amounts of money. For a small subscription fee, Richard Quick, Esq. will put you in touch with a steady stream of great contacts that will MAKE YOU MILLIONS even if you lack talent, intelligence and even a hint of motivation.
Here are email excerpts from just a few of the desperate millionaires who contacted me recently:
JAMES COLE AND SISTER from ABIDJAN, COTE D' IVOIRE write:
WE ARE THE ONLY CHILDREN OF LATE CHIEF. DESMOND COLE, FROM ZULU, who was an agriculturist with much money in the sales of cocoa and gold in South Africa but died of a ghastly car accident.... Before he died HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLAR (10.500.000.00)... We will give you the sum of 15% ($2,100,000) to transfer the funds to your designated account...
RQ says: This is as easy as taking candy from orphan refugees. You can buy much candy with $2.1M samolians.
Barrister Buba Abacha writes: I can assure you 100% that this transaction is legitimate and you stand no risk as the present government does not know about the existance of this funds. This funds were legitimately acquired through over inflated contracts.
RQ says: Inflation is a legitimate factor in business, as all good barristers know.
Orphan/refugee Mary Kenzo writes: I am mary kenzo the only daughter of late Paul kenzo the managing Director of Dube Petroleum company in Abidjan... this is a story that seems like a fiction to me but today I am facing the reality of being an orphans who is also being hunted by men of wicked principles hence tragidy does not alter fact but fact remains when other hopes has being shatterd... please assist me transfer this money in your private bank account, the said amount is (Fifteen Million Dollars)$15 Million. I am compensating you with 15 % of the total money , now all my hope is base on you, and I really wants to invest this money in your country...Honestly I want you to believe that this transaction is real and never a joke...
RQ's take: $15 Million is "never a joke" to me either, Mary.
Subscribe to Richard Quick's Millionaire Matchmaker Service and you'll receive a steady stream of opportunities to Get Rich Quick! from wacky 'n wealthy Africans. You'll have priority access to the scrolling Opportunity Board, where opportunities like these are posted 24 hours a day, 7 days per week!
Real opportunities currently available:
AMOUNT ___YOU KEEP___NAME (WIFE/CHILD OF) __DEATH__COUNTRY
$5,000,000 ....20% .........Kate William (Lobi William) .....illness...Cote d'Ivoire
$55,000,000..10%...........Rosaas Savimbi (Jonas)....Murdered.....Nigeria
$10,500,000...20%..........Julliet Prince (Chief).....Poisoned..........Cote d'Ivoire
$18,300,000...10%..........Rosemary Ahmed (Bashir)...Motor accident...Togo
$20,000,000..20%.........Stella Sithole (Michael)........Killed by rebels...Johnnsbrg
$6,800,000.....15%..........Fatima Abacha (Mohammed)...Imprisoned...Nigeria
$13,500,000...30%.........Barr. Kok K. Kwesi (Matt Pozzobon)..Car Crash..Ghana
$6,500,000...20%.........Dr. Bright Destiny (William Lewis)..Natural Causes..Togo
$12,800,000..20%........George Harrison (Morrie Thompson)..Plane crash..London
$24,400,000..20%.......Prince Tabo Charles (And. Schranner)..crash...Johnnsbrg
$5,500,000..15%........Rashida Ibrahim (Agogomaka Ibrahim)..poison...Cote d'Ivoire
$35,000,000..50%......Kunle Damilola (John Owen)....................car crash...Nigeria
$19,200,000..$4.2M......Chief Thomas Agodi (Alhaji Waziri)......plane crash...Nigeria
$30,000,000..30%.....Dr. Latefe (Andreas Schranner)..plane crash..Burkina Faso
$16,800,000..30%.....Dr. Owens Mary (Owens Jim)......cancer problem.....UK
$25,000,000..20%.....Mrs. Helein Kota (Frederic Kota).....Assassination.....Lome-Togo
$18,800,000..30%.....Mr. Jimmy Johnson (Hami Ramzy).....Holocaust.....London
2 comments:
Richard, I appreciate your sense of humor! Perhaps you can also use your vast resources to educate the gullible and greedy ones on the need to ignore some 'get-rich-quick' schemes. As you know it takes two to tango. Capishe?
They will learn that soon after enrolling in my "Make millions off African Widows, Dictators & Orphans" program. My approach ensures long-term retention of their lessons as well. See you on the veranda, imnakoya! RQ
Post a Comment