Saturday, February 03, 2007

An American Franchise: Nudes 'N Foods

The dream of free food and naked women built this great nation, America. It's what first brought Columbus to these shores, and St. Brendan before him.
It's what lured the Pilgrims to Plymouth Rock (what, you bought into religious freedom?).
And it somehow brought Don Rickles.
It's as American as, say, complimentary pornography and ham loaf.
And now, it's a dream franchise for you.
And the best part is that when they complain that the dancers are ugly, you can say, Sure, but hey, the food's free! And when they complain that the ham loaf smells funny, you say: What's the matter with you? There's naked women up there and you're talking ham loaf!

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