Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Sell DIY Drunk Tests

[Illustration courtesy MoHDI]

Drunk Driving is a serious problem in our society, ruining countless lives and blah blah blah.

But how can you tell when you're too drunk to drive? Up until now, your only option was to swerve into the path of a police cruiser, grind to a sudden halt, then loudly request a Breathalizer test before you're gunned down... not a great option.

But now, thanks to the great minds at Millions of Hundred Dollar Ideas, problem drinkers and hardcore alcoholics alike can perform a self-test using Do-it-Yourself Drunk Test Flashcards. As the MoHDI engineers describe it: have a deck of fifty-two cards, with a photo of a lady printed on the
face of them. These ladies range from being moderately attractive to very ugly.
You pull one of the cards, look at the woman on the card, and decide if you
think that she is attractive or not...

In other words: Would you? or Wouldn't you?
...Then you flip over the card, and see what it says. The reverse side of the card
has a number in a scale of its own printed on it, essentially in inverse
proportion to your own “One to Ten” scale. Thus, the moderately good-looking
lady would be a “one”, and the horribly-disfigured lady would be a “ten”. It
operates on the basis of beer goggles: the drunker you are, the lower your
threshold of standards of beauty becomes, so when you’re looking at a card and
you’re like,”That is one fiiiiine lookin’ lady! I wish she was sittin’ on this
here barstool right next to me!” and then you flip it over and it reads “Nine”,
you’ll be all like “Woah, I’m nine out of ten drunk! I should get the hell on
out of here!” There’ll be a series that depicts dudes as well, for those people
that prefer dudes over ladies.

As a DIY Drunk Test franchisee, you'll establish a "downline" distributor network that can include bartenders, liquor store clerks, AA members and dedicated drinkers. We're looking for ambitious individuals with years of drinking and cavorting experience in a variety of venues. DUIs a plus. Business experience is not necessary. Some non-maxxed credit cards and liver a must.

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