Saturday, May 13, 2006
A TRIBUTE TO STEPHEN COLBERT'S BALLS
If you want to know the real problem with modern liberals, why they are chronically powerless and ineffectual and will remain so for the foreseeable future, look no further than Richard Quick’s latest addition to his TimeWasting Loser Sites: ThankYouStephenColbert.org.
ThankYouStephenColbert.org is a new liberal circle jerk, a tribute site in which Stephen Colbert’s mindless followers liken this 15-minute-of-limited-famer to Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and Mark Twain. I see the similarities, as this trio are as dead as Colbert’s lameass jokes.
I keep a couple of illegal aliens on computers at all times. They monitor which sites our employees are wasting time on, and log statistics on their time-wasting patterns before we toss them out in the street with no severance, as examples. Juan and Patel report that of the 60,000 thank-you messages on the Colbert tribute site, more than 2000 of them reference Colbert’s balls.
Furthermore, Juan & Patel estimated that the average poster wasted .5 hours on the site, between reviewing and posting time. So counting only those who posted on the site, 29,000 man-hours have been wasted so far. That equates to 725 40-hour work weeks, or the equivalent of a staff of 13 full-time professionals working an entire year without vacation.
Can anyone venture a guess as to the problem with the liberals, and why my friends on the Hill and I laugh about them over cigars and brandy?
See you on the veranda!
Richard Quick, Esq.
[Funny note: 14 of these proud Colbert-worshippers were put out on the street Friday,with nothing more than a Happy Mother’s Day and a kick in the ass, as they were caught on this site during work hours. Thanks Juan and Patel: Keep up the great work!]
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