THE VERANDA - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
It was announced that the National Board of Human Excellence and esteemed blog Cafe Ambivalence has awarded its highest honor upon Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq., philanderopist and beloved wealth builder. At an online ceremony earlier today, National Board of Human Excellence President Dr. Severenz named the beloved Quick the "Most Artabilious and Shallow," its most coveted award.
Quick's publicist released a prepared statement stating that, while the Millionaire had no idea what "Artabilious," means, has never heard of the National Board of Human Excellence nor Cafe Ambivalence, and doesn't know if Dr. Severenz is a "real" doctor, he was very honored nonetheless to accept this honor on behalf of humanity and wealthy people everywhere.
This award brings the number of awards and honorary degrees bestowed upon Richard Quick, Esq. and his blog, Get Rich Quick, to one.
NOTE TO LITERATE VISITORS: Please see the Dr. Severenz' award speech by clicking here. If you can even remotely explain what he is saying, please post it as a comment below. Richard will reward you handsomely.