Saturday, June 17, 2006

GET RICH QUICK: Open an Alter Ego Rehabilitation Clinic

Dr. Jess is one of the foremost Alter Ego Rehabilitation specialists in the BlogoShere, having personally counselled many high profile alter egos including Fast Food Poet Angus O'Mann, Heiress and Scarf Mogel Gwen Hammond, Intergalactic gadabout Captain Berk, and international spiritual leader and founder of the Morrism Movement, Old Man Morri.

Now Dr. Jess's proprietary system for curing those with too many personalities and too much money is an exciting business opportunity... through the Simpson Alter Ego Rehabilitation Center franchise. Just look around your neighborhood to see all the undiagnosed and untreated fictional alter egos: compassionate republicans, the caring, concerned Christians, and the committed liberals with an action plan for change should fill your facility to capacity in no time!

[Photo Credit: Dr. Jess. From the Simpson Foundation Collection]

[NOTE: Tabloid assertions that the intermittent, torrid and highly publicized love affair between Dr. Jess and Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. began when Mr. Quick was a patient at Ms. Jess's rehab hospital are unsubstantiated and litigious. The very act of thinking about these rumors, much less discussing them aloud, could result in your being named in the upcoming lawsuit. General Counsel, Law Firm of Quick, Duhk & Hyde]

No comments: