Sunday, March 12, 2006

When Farks Attack!

On Wed. March 8, time-wasting site Fark.Com reacted to my seven-word review ("Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.") and posted a link on their little site. I was assailed by comments by those who are only too willing to waste their employers' time trying to defend their pathetic egos. Fark.Com should be happy I threw a little web traffic their way, but this is the thanks I get.

From 2Tone: "...God put us on earth to do: Make money." What do you do with all your "hard-earned cash?" You must be a real tight wad, a hoarder, especially since you host your site here on not on your own domain.Sounds like you're a very bitter person, even with all the money you claim you have. I know you need love and attention, which those cheap hookers and strippers aren't giving to you. Come and join us at flds, you will truly be a king with 3 teenage brides. Our compound is in Texas, we are waiting for you...Jeff.
RQ responds: Believe me, Jeff, these hookers and strippers aren't cheap. You guys at FLDS are doing a great job, especially at the compound in TX. Keep up the good work! However, I've seen Mormon women and will have to pass. I appreciate the offer.

From CoffeeKitty79: You must have gotten beat up in school a lot when you were a kid.
RQ responds: I did. Childhood was tough. But the looks on those bullies' faces, when I had them hunted down and killed, made it all worth it.

More from CoffeeKitty79: at least fark is a little entertaining..this blog is just sad and a little disturbing..i would trade being a billionare for not being a jackass anyday.
RQ responds: A shame, it seems, that you weren't offered either option. CoffeeKitty79, if you follow the principles in my books, I guarantee you won't have to buy your clothes on eBay anymore (how ARE those jeans working out?). CoffeeKitty, I'm no animal rights activist but I find your signature beverage rather cruel and distasteful.

From RiTron ( This is a joke, right?
RQ responds: RiTron: you have, without a doubt, the best blog in the universe. DO NOT change a thing. A single additional post will ruin its fragile perfection. You are a God to me.

From vANS: you fucking rule.
RQ responds: vANS you are a vAN of few words, but when you speak, you speak the truth. Together, we could fucking rule the fucking world. Or at least enslave these dipshits.

From Guyulus: Biggest Timewaster so far from the list..."... Richard Quick's Time-Wasting Loser Blogs These are blogs I've run across that fill feeble minds with anti-success rhetoric. What a disservice they do to young people who should be pursing that which God put us on earth to do: Make money. They are in no way the worst, just a list of the mediocre majority I've come across...."Lots of money <>
RQ responds: WTF? Let me go out on a limb, Guyulus, and venture a guess that you don't get invited to too many parties.

From Charles: Sundae Station is a scam. Go to the site and click on the links. The site was set up by the government.
RQ responds: Yeah, right, Charles. And Soylent Green really IS people! Time to lay off the X-Files reruns, Chuck. Or should I say, your Highness?

From Michael Coward: I've figured out that the quickest way to get rich is through philanthropoligist. I figured, you being the expert on getting rich quick, and being rich yourself, that to hit you up for $20,000 or so would be a good start in my get-rich-quick plan. $20,000 is negotiable, I'd gladly take more (or less, money is money). Maybe you're not really considered a "philanthropoligist", but your hobby list was looking short, so I figured I could start getting rich now and you could start being a philanthropist now. (Come on, at least a grand for the laugh).-- Michael Coward Sans Peur
RQ responds: Good show, Michael! I like your gumption, son. You remind me of another brash young man I once knew... one with the initials RQ. You're just the kind of ambitious young man who will go very far with my programs. You are a breath of fresh air. I'm in for a grand, and a complimentary copy of "Richard Quick's Guide to Turning $1000 into $1 Million... Guaranteed!" By the way, what is a Philanthropoligist?

From Tiffany: Thanks for calling out those web sites for what they are. I used to go on Fark all the time because I like funny news stories. However, the comments those people post are pure poison. They hate anyone who has wealth, fame, or success. They can only be summed up as losers. If you hate successful people you can never become one of them. It's time for people to wake up and realize poverty is NOT a virtue. Sincerely, Tiffany
RQ responds: Tiffany: You have singlehandedly redeemed my faith in Tiffanys worldwide. Despite your parents' efforts, you have blossomed into an intelligent, insightful, nubile young woman with unlimited potential. You exhibit the qualities of those who can turn a small investment in my wealth-building systems into vast fortunes. I am going to put your name into the consideration list for a Gordon Gekko scholarship to the Richard Quick Millionaire Institute. Please send some photos. See you on the Veranda!

From Matt: saw your blog, I want to be rich too, maybe then I can help others.
RQ responds: I like your attitude. I've got a good feeling about you. And my instincts are never wrong. You have drive. talent. Ambition. You are special. You've got the success vibe oozing from you like jelly out of the bismarck I stepped on this morning. What a mess! And we've got time to work on that "helping others" thing.

From TeevHo ( I see that money does not buy class or erase ignorance. What it does seem to do is inflate blowhard windbags with a false sense of self entitlement.
RQ responds: Mr. HO, the good news for you is that money CAN buy pharmaceuticals and counseling. Ask your doctor if Hetracil is right for you. Common side effects include sudden, horrible revelations such as "OMFG! I have a blog called Britney Spears Watch!!!!" The horror...

DON'T BE A LOSER: Sign up for Richard Quick's Get Rich Quick! Newsletter!


Richard Quick, Millionaire said...

Be sure to sign up for the Get Rich Quick! newsletter. See the front page for the link to the sign-up.

All you've got to lose is your loserly ways.

Bobby T. said...

I would appreciate it if you did not mis-represent my photo as your own.

Richard Quick, Millionaire said...

Bobby: You wish you looked as good as I do. Have you taken your meds today?

Bobby T. said...

Yah, I have... All 9 of my meds (not a joke)...

And that picture was me on a good day...

Richard Quick, Millionaire said...

9 meds? That's about the Fark cruiser average. Bobby T, you're ok in my book. My pharmaceutical holdings have been making me (a few additional) fortunes! RQ, E.