Thursday, March 09, 2006

Ideas for exploiting an inner-city soccer team?

I received a fan letter from a delightfully scheming Farker named Brian C. Brian emailed: "you have no idea how much money actually flows through the non-profit sector. Some incredibly wealthy people have become so running Non-profits... check some numbers... the government loves to hand out checks to people they believe are do-gooders." Bravo, Brian! You have the millionaire mindset!
Coincidentally, I received a solicitation from some poor schlub who organizes an inner-city sports club. He recruits players who 1) cant afford to play 2) are at risk of delinquency 3) have no means of transportation or equipment(shoes) or have a language barrier 4) are "good kids" but need something fun and positive to do. (Some club!) He needs $2230 to support each of three teams, much of which he's put in from his own pocket in past years (go figure! It takes all kinds...). This year the teams are in danger of folding due to lack of funds. (I smell opportunity!)
So, students, what would you say is the best way to exploit this situation for monetary gain? I'm sure we could get the sponsorship for 30% less by cutting costs (no shoelaces, no cups, etc.). He has offered for the players to volunteer work time. We could sell advertising to malt liquor and payday loan companies. Put their street skills to work selling soccer eqpt boosted from other teams, performance-enhancing placebos, protection, crack, compromising pictures of Mia Hamm, etc. Send me your ideas, students, or add a comment. And let's all, as they say in the inner city, give Freaky Farker Brian C. his props! See you on the veranda, Brian!

Brian C. Adds: Create a company in name only and eat the founding costs.. a lawyer to file the paperwork for non-profit status or jsut skip it and register as a philanthropic organization. It offers tax shelters not readily available to general corporations. You use the only asset you have readily available, the students and this person who is trying to start the program in the first place. If he really has the gonads to go through with it, the answer is simple.

Liquify as many personal assets you can or leverage it. Take a mortgage out on your house to start the creation of the Foundation, apply for non-profit status and open up for operation. Build your soccer field and then use the kids sad little faces to get smaller community based endeavors to help fund you. After a year of operation I believe, you are now eligible for matching funds from most major cities. If not, throw your hand into political campaigns. Find the smallest local official you can that has an interest in such things (All those mopes that attached to Arnold in CA when he ran made a bundle) Grease some palms, it's the American way.

RQ, E. responds: Great, Brian. Only this guy isn't based in America. He's in Canada.

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