On Wed. March 8, time-wasting site Fark.Com reacted to my seven-word review ("Farking Losers. Fark you, you farking farks.") and posted a link on their little site. The post prompted a slight bump in my site traffic (26,000 hits or so), 260 comments on Fark.Com, and 50-60 on my site. Fark.Com should be kissing my rear end for the web traffic I sent their way, but this is the thanks I get.
Farker Nano said: God sent his son to preach goodwill on earth and kindness to your fellow man. He did not instruct you to leach wealth without working.
RQ responds: Well-spoken, Nano. God does not instruct how to leach wealth without working. That's why I created "Richard Quick's Amazing Seven Step Path to Leaching Wealth Without Working... Guaranteed!" program. Remember, the Lord helps those who help themselves. Those are words I live by.
Farker Punker 98 writes: You have a rather inflated view of yourself, don't you? Isn't it sad that money can't buy you a personality? I hope you and that giant chip on your shoulder are very happy.
RQ responds: We are, Punker 98! In fact, I'm going to ask the Giant Chip to be my bride... if she'll have me!
Farker Fuck You and Yours writes: I say old boy, how did you find these sites? Where they in John 6:16 or did you actually go on line and read them? What prays do you say to clean your soul after viewing all the kiddy porn? Oh, I know your just looking for new ideas and stumble across these sites.
RQ responds: Thanks for the link, FY&Y. I couldn't find the John 6:16 kiddie porn site. Are you sure that's the URL?
Farker Jeremy C said: Interesting... You're a self-proclaimed billionaire, so I guess you don't have anything better to do than rag on other people's blogs. I can't find you in Amazon or Google for that matter. And it's funny that since it's America, you have the right to say what you want, but when someone says something against you, you slap them in the face. Freedom is a two way street, pal.
RQ responds: Are you in the Amazon too? We're bulldozing some godforsaken tropical rainforests so we can get these poor people some strip centers, donut shops and casinos. Email your cell, let's grab a macawburger before they're all gone, J-man.
QuickLikeDick writes: With a billion dollars, isn't it frustrating that your life consists of posting on internet message boards? I mean, if I had a billion dollars, I guess I would be, you know, meeting women and vacationing quite a bit. Erectile disfunction your excuse, eh? They got medicine for that you know. Transgendered? That's too bad, but I guess since you are the expert at the internets, you are aware of all the tranny-love sights to fufill you. Have fun with your webcam, dork.
RQ responds: "...if I had a billion dollars, I guess I would be, you know, meeting women..." Don't be so hard on yourself, Quick. With a few measly million, even dwarves and Canadians get laid.
KaptainKremen posts: I met Dick Quick at a bar one time. I didn't even know it was him. He was acting like a normal guy. His voice was different, his hair was different.. everything about him was different from what we imagine him to be like on his web site. After a few drinks he started talking about how he worked for the government and was tired of doing "the schtick" for them. Then, as more and more people began to realize who he was and started crowding around, he started getting belligerent. He threatened to have one of my friends killed and then some guy he was with grabbed him by the arm and they left.
RQ responds: Haven't seen that friend lately, have you Cap'n?