Make millions off African Widows, Dictators & Orphans!

Richard Quick's Millionaire Matchmaker Service will connect you with the UNBELIEVABLE fortunes to be made helping millionaire African refugees, dying widows and crooked bank employees get their family treasures and abandoned bank funds out of such bizarre-sounding places as Nigeria, Ghana, Cote d' Ivoire, Benino Faso, and South Africa. These people have every one of the MAGIC FIVE TRAITS to look for in a prospective partner: desperation, trust, lack of education, stupidity and obscene amounts of money. For a small subscription fee, Richard Quick, Esq. will put you in touch with a steady stream of great contacts that will MAKE YOU MILLIONS even if you lack talent, intelligence and even a hint of motivation.

Here are email excerpts from just a few of the desperate millionaires who contacted me recently:

JAMES COLE AND SISTER from ABIDJAN, COTE D' IVOIRE write:
WE ARE THE ONLY CHILDREN OF LATE CHIEF. DESMOND COLE, FROM ZULU, who was an agriculturist with much money in the sales of cocoa and gold in South Africa but died of a ghastly car accident.... Before he died HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLAR (10.500.000.00)... We will give you the sum of 15% ($2,100,000) to transfer the funds to your designated account...
RQ says: This is as easy as taking candy from orphan refugees. You can buy much candy with $2.1M samolians.

Barrister Buba Abacha writes: I can assure you 100% that this transaction is legitimate and you stand no risk as the present government does not know about the existance of this funds. This funds were legitimately acquired through over inflated contracts.
RQ says: Inflation is a legitimate factor in business, as all good barristers know.

Orphan/refugee Mary Kenzo writes: I am mary kenzo the only daughter of late Paul kenzo the managing Director of Dube Petroleum company in Abidjan... this is a story that seems like a fiction to me but today I am facing the reality of being an orphans who is also being hunted by men of wicked principles hence tragidy does not alter fact but fact remains when other hopes has being shatterd... please assist me transfer this money in your private bank account, the said amount is (Fifteen Million Dollars)$15 Million. I am compensating you with 15 % of the total money , now all my hope is base on you, and I really wants to invest this money in your country...Honestly I want you to believe that this transaction is real and never a joke...
RQ's take: $15 Million is "never a joke" to me either, Mary.

Subscribe to Richard Quick's Millionaire Matchmaker Service and you'll receive a steady stream of opportunities to Get Rich Quick! from wacky 'n wealthy Africans. You'll have priority access to the scrolling Opportunity Board, where opportunities like these are posted 24 hours a day, 7 days per week!

Real opportunities currently available:

AMOUNT ___YOU KEEP___NAME (WIFE/CHILD OF) __DEATH__COUNTRY

$5,000,000 ....20% .........Kate William (Lobi William) .....illness...Cote d'Ivoire

$55,000,000..10%...........Rosaas Savimbi (Jonas)....Murdered.....Nigeria

$10,500,000...20%..........Julliet Prince (Chief).....Poisoned..........Cote d'Ivoire

$18,300,000...10%..........Rosemary Ahmed (Bashir)...Motor accident...Togo

$20,000,000..20%.........Stella Sithole (Michael)........Killed by rebels...Johnnsbrg

$6,800,000.....15%..........Fatima Abacha (Mohammed)...Imprisoned...Nigeria

$13,500,000...30%.........Barr. Kok K. Kwesi (Matt Pozzobon)..Car Crash..Ghana

$6,500,000...20%.........Dr. Bright Destiny (William Lewis)..Natural Causes..Togo

$12,800,000..20%........George Harrison (Morrie Thompson)..Plane crash..London

$24,400,000..20%.......Prince Tabo Charles (And. Schranner)..crash...Johnnsbrg

$5,500,000..15%........Rashida Ibrahim (Agogomaka Ibrahim)..poison...Cote d'Ivoire

$35,000,000..50%......Kunle Damilola (John Owen)....................car crash...Nigeria

$19,200,000..$4.2M......Chief Thomas Agodi (Alhaji Waziri)......plane crash...Nigeria

$30,000,000..30%.....Dr. Latefe (Andreas Schranner)..plane crash..Burkina Faso

$16,800,000..30%.....Dr. Owens Mary (Owens Jim)......cancer problem.....UK

$25,000,000..20%.....Mrs. Helein Kota (Frederic Kota).....Assassination.....Lome-Togo

$18,800,000..30%.....Mr. Jimmy Johnson (Hami Ramzy).....Holocaust.....London

(The) RICH GETS RICHER!

(Click images to enlarge)

When you're hot, you're hot. When you're rich, you just get richer. That's just the way it is. Winners win (hence the name: winners). And who wins more than Richard Quick, Esq.? Each morning when I sip my fine imported unfair-trade coffee on the veranda, I check my email to see how many millions I've won from International lotteries I didn't even enter. For motivational purposes, I'll provide you with a cumulative total for April, 2006.

DATE ______AMOUNT____ LOTTERY NAME ____LOCATION ____AGENT

4/1/06 ..........£2,073,756 .........U.K. National Lottery .Liverpool ......Mr. Daniel Owen

4/2/06 ..........$500,000 ...........Dayzers Lottery Intl. ..........? .......... ...Mr. Phil Owens

4/4/06 ..........€250,000 .......... Millenium Computer .Madrid .......... Mr. Felix Gomez

4/4/06 ..........$1,000,000 ........Postcode Loterij .......... Netherlands .Joan Van Henk

4/5/06 ..........£5,500,000 .......MS-WORD LOTTO ....... Africa .......... ..Sir. Kunle Adams

4/6/06 ..........$200,000 ..........Swiss Lottery .......... Johnnsbrg ..Mr. Ephraim Kobindi

4/11/06..........$2,000,000.......Sweetwin Promo...........Amsterdam..Mr. Pieter

4/11/06 .........€1,000,000 .......Euro Million Spanish ...Spain......Mrs. Comfort Jose

4/11/06..........$1,500,000........Liberty Foundation.....Nethrlnds..Mr. Mbeky William

4/13/06..........$1,000,000.......Asian Pacific Lotto.....Bangkok.....Mr. Wing Ho

4/13/06..........$850,000..........World Lotto.....The Netherlands.....Mr. Frans Bauwell

4/13/06..........£2,500,000......Queen's Royal.....London.....Mr. Richard Maxwell

4/14/06 ..........$1,500,000 ........LuckyDay Loterij .......... Netherlands ..Mr. Jose Owen

4/14/06 ..........€1,000,000........Spring Day Award .....Netherlands ..Mrs.Helen Van Patt

ASK Millionaire Richard Quick!

Melody writes: Richard I just signed up to learn how to extricate myself from poverty. You're not going to spam me, are you?My brother and I are thinking about going into the business of selling beef jerky to China. Think there's a market there? Melody

RQ responds: Spam? By definition, I cannot spam you, because an email from Richard Quick is a blessing, whether it's about natural male enhancements or helping deposed Nigerian millionaire dictators.
Thank God for you and your brother you contacted me. Your plan is a disaster. China has over a billion people and, at last census, $43.76USD between them. But China has some clear business benefits, including a repressive government, endangered species, and lots of poor people willing to do (and cook) gross stuff. I'd suggest you get the people in China to make a line of "Rich Jerk Jerky" for you to import, with varieties such as Panda Jerky, Tiger Jerky, & the whimsical "Has anyone seen the Cat?" Jerky. Rich jerks here will eat it up. Take it from me.

Universist Movement Flushed by Richard Quick, ESQ

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Richard Quick Expose Topples Universist Movement in 10 Days
Millionaire’s stinging words ends movement in 10 days

RICHARD QUICK ESTATE, PA – March 31, 2006

While many love to make the comparison, Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. waves it off with a laugh. “I am NOT God,” says the modest, highly celebrated self-made man. “Not even A God, at least one of the major deities. The Lord created the world in only six days. All I did was expose and topple a religious leader in one day and a fraudulent religious movement in 10 days. Granted, I was maintaining a multi-national, multibillion-dollar enterprise concurrently. But, I repeat, I am not a major deity.”

Many would beg to differ. The Universist Movement seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds, attracting many of the crew members of the Hollywood elite and rankling the feathers of established relious elite. Yet Richard Quick, Esq., on a crusade to eliminate the lost productivity of office workers spending time on anti-success and charlatan websites while at work, identified and exposed the site Universist.Org as one of the worst. He added Universist.Org to his list Richard Quick’s All-Time worst Loser time-Wasting Loser sites on March, 12. Within 24 hours, the founder stepped down. Within ten days, the “Movement” had been flushed into the waters of the pipeline of appropriately forgotten ideas.

Here’s the time line for the Universist.Org End-of-Days Non-rapture

3/12/06. Quick posts his scathing commentary in an expose on his Get Rich Quick! Blog a http://richardquick.blogspot.com: “Talk about needing a sist removed! Universist.Org consists of pretentious self-important elitist liberal arts losers playing dress-up with pagan wiccan lesbo costumes found in the dumpster outside of real religions. Hey, let's create a religion based on what we don't believe! That way the boring pseudo-views we spew over Starbuck's lattes can't be challenged for the vapid drivel it is.”

3/12/06 Quick receives a stinging rebuke and threatening email from Universist founder Ford Vox. This prompts a heated email exchange between Ford Vox and Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. It’s clear that Quick hit a nerve.

3/13/06 An email is sent to the Universist membership entitled “A New Dawn” which says: “…founder Ford Vox has chosen to step down to an advisory role.” The inner tumult was attributed to “…a rift that was created by… a difference of opinion between forum management and a member.” Unnamed sources have identified the “member” as Richard Quick, Esq.

3/20/06 With the organization reeling, administrator Roy Frank Tottie sends an email entitled “Urgent Request, Your Testimony Requested” to all members, making a desperate attempt to curtail member-to-member email contact to keep the further disintegration of this pseudogroup caused by Richard Quick’s prophetic words.

3/22/06 Roy Frank Tottie follows up with a tear-soaked, sappy email which reads, in part: “Effective Friday, March 24th the Universist.com Forum will be closing for good… fuck it all… the time for fighting is over.” In honesty rare for this group, Tottie admits that Richard Quick, Esq. was right by stating that Universism “…is NOTHING! A game. A fantasy.”

In a press conference later that week, Richard Quick, Esq. again put it best: “Never underestimate the power of a millionaire's criticism. Days after I exposed the so-called Universist Movement a leftist, lesbo hoax, and a ludicrous joke, and added their inane forum to the revered list Richard Quick's Top Time-Wasting Loser Sites, guess what? The forum officially shut down in embarrassment and defeat, and the "Movement" seems to have reached up from its own toilet bowl and pulled the flusher in shame and remorse. Certain movements are best flushed and forgotten. Beware the wrath of Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.!”

Truer words have never been spoken. When Richard Quick, Esq. speaks, charlatans and posers flee in terror!

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For more information, contact Richard Quick, Esq. at Richardquickesq@yahoo.com or post a comment at www.Richardquick.blogspot.com.