Rebel Happinista Communique Leaked!

The following email exchange between rebel Happinista Leader Susan Nichols was somehow leaked to the press by a high ranking source in the CIA. the Bush Administration has announced a full investigation into the alleged leak.

Nichols: Who are you?
Quick: I am a self-made multi-millionaire devoted to teaching the unworthy how to gain power and wealth.

Nichols: Why would you feel it is okay to speak to me and my audience in such uncivil tones?
Quick:The question actually never occured to me.

Nichols: How do you know that I am not interesting or genuine?
Quick: 1) You are "a founding partner" of something called "the Gross National Happiness Team/GNH Team," 2) You describe yourself in the third person as "...one of the best minds of a generation," 3) You use cliches and phrases like "Must See T.V." "blogosphere" and "spot on," and 4) You are "a founding partner" of something called "the Gross National Happiness Team/GNH Team."

Nichols:Do you get your thrills by being randomly cruel?
Quick: No. That was not my intention. I sincerely apologize if I was random.

Nichols:I found your post to be very unkind.
Quick:That is because I am not a kind person. But you, your job is to be kind. Your job is to spread happiness. But you were not kind to me. You did not attempt to understand that the cause of my deep seated hatred of others and my quest for wealth and power is that, deep down, I am just a frightened little boy who was never hugged as a child. If you had only understood, and told me that it is ok, and that I, too, deserve gross happiness, you could have changed the course of my life and you could have netted millions in donations for your worthy causes, like peace sign stickers made by the malodorous casualties of that bad batch of Vermont LSD in 1971.

But you didn't. You should feel grossly unhappy when you think of all the good you could have done with those stickers.

[End of Transcription]